


des noms de plume

by foxinsocksinabox



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detective/Thief, M/M, slightly white collar if i'm honest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 22:35:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11262417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxinsocksinabox/pseuds/foxinsocksinabox
Summary: "What kind of a name is 'Grand King', anyway?" He mutters mutinously, glancing over the forensic techs as they sweep the scene. "Ostentatious jackass."Iwaizumi turns on his heel, trench coat flaring (he hasn't practiced the move, no matter what Hanamaki might say), and doesn't notice a tall young man dressed in a crime lab jacket, watching him go with a tiny, secret smile





	des noms de plume

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chiharu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiharu/gifts).



> for the prompt:
> 
> The Kaitou 0720 Task Force does their best to catch their favorite phantom thief-- The Grand King. Detective(s) & Thief AU!

"How the fuck did he do it?"

Iwaizumi stares up the eight-foot, smoothly vertical wall surrounding the mansion. There is barbed wire topping the fence, and cameras located at ten foot intervals. There are infrared motion detectors inside and a tightly-controlled guard and _fucking pressure-sensitive floor panels_ , in the room housing the painting.

Well, that had housed the painting. All that's left of a ten-foot tall pre-Raphaelite painting now is an empty frame and a signature, a crown spray-painted onto the neighbouring wall.

There is a headache brewing behind Iwaizumi's eyes, not least because he has been screamed at by no less than four- four!!- obscenely rich people who, of course, all want their (hideously expensive) painting back. Iwaizumi has had to placate each one of them, because as the detective now in charge of the case, if he doesn't, then their political connections will rain hell down on his head.

To top off a great day, he had only managed one cup of shitty coffee before leaving the station. Frankly, if he'd known he would be dealing with so much stupidity upon arriving at the crime scene, he would probably have availed himself of Matsukawa's stash of brandy. More than availed. _Finished._

"What kind of a name is 'Grand King', anyway?" He mutters mutinously, glancing over the forensic techs as they sweep the scene. "Ostentatious jackass."

Iwaizumi turns on his heel, trench coat flaring (he hasn't practiced the move, no matter what Hanamaki might say), and doesn't notice a tall young man dressed in a crime lab jacket, watching him go with a tiny, secret smile

 

\---

 

The next time the Grand King strikes, he steals some antique- and really quite scandalous- woodblocks dating from the early Meiji period. He also leaves a note addressed in looping script, to _Iwaizumi._

"Fuck," Iwaizumi says with feeling, when Irihata dumps the case in his lap.

 

\---

 

_Dear Iwa-chan~_

Hello! Good job on the Rosetti investigation, I'm sorry you couldn't catch me! Well, I'm not really sorry you understand, but I can appreciate a handsome opponent when I have one, and you really are very handsome.

Anyway, I've liberated these woodblocks from their extremely unappreciative owners- practically no security on them at all!- and wish you all the best of luck tracking them down! By the time you read this, I will be far away, though it does make me very sad that I won't get the chance to see you this time.

I guess I'll just have to wait until my next score~

Hugs and kisses,

The Grand King.

P.S. I didn't choose my nom de plume, it chose me~ Iwa-chan just doesn't have any sense of drama.

 

\---

 

Hanamaki saves both the letter and Iwaizumi's job, by snatching it out of his hands before he can reduce the piece of evidence into a thousand confetti strips

 

\---

 

_Four Years Later_

 

The Special Operations team bursts into the warehouse in textbook rank and file, guns up and systematically sounding the all clear for each room until there is only one left.

Iwaizumi, clad in a bulletproof vest with his service pistol a solid weight in his hand, follows their lead despite his roaring impatience, because he is _sure_ they've caught up to the Grand King this time. He isn't green enough or reckless enough to put his neck on the line to rush ahead and confirm his theory, he knows how important it is to clear the area, but he still can't help grinding his teeth at every wasted minute, that the thief could use to get away.

"Iwaizumi," someone calls, and he snaps around to stare at Matsukawa, who's pulled down his balaclava enough that Iwaizumi doesn't have to struggle to recognise him. "We've got him. He's in there."

A surge of relief floods through him, followed quickly by a punch of adrenaline. Iwaizumi presses his lips together and sucks in a deep breath through his nose, steeling himself. Then he nods once, sharp.

The men move to let him pass, their weapons all trained on the lone figure standing in the middle of the empty room, hands in the air.

The Grand King smiles at him, a sunny, rueful smile that makes Iwaizumi want to punch him, and says, "Well, it looks like you've finally found me, Iwa-chan~!"

And Iwaizumi, who has been imagining this moment for years- has put up with dozens of ridiculous notes and thousands of files and endless hours of teasing for his borderline obsession with a handsome master thief- says the first thing on his mind, which is, "Stop fucking calling me that, you _unbelievable asshole_."

And Oikawa Tooru, the Grand King, throws his head back and _laughs._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come talk to me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/foxrocksyrsocks)


End file.
